I think this is a smart and articulate piece about the limitations of memoir. I write narrative nonfiction as well as fiction, and I taught narrative nonfiction for many years, and my own work is not memoir, other than indirectly. My collection “The Redneck Way of Knowledge” was published in 1982, reissued in 1997 with an Introduction by Dorothy Allison, and is being reissued again in 1996, probably with another Introduction by someone else. My work has stayed relevant because I am not the subject, I am the lens.
The self as the lens, using what is autobiographical as a way to look at subjects that are not the lens, is imho much more powerful than attempting nonfiction that posits ‘objectivity’, a notion that seems false everywhere but in science and math. Using one’s own experience as a lens makes looking at ‘the other’ or what is not the self more accurate (and possibly quite moving and even funny), not less.
But simply writing about the self, about one’s own life and experience, may be helpful for the writer. However, it has to reach beyond itself to matter. Read Sloane Crosley’s “Grief Is for People” for a wonderful example of autobiographical work that reaches beyond her own experience. She is the lens, not the subject. There are many examples of this, and I may write a piece about it in my own substack, Blanche.substack.com, which is free and always will be.
I have a friend, a playwright, who created a character Creates a Path While Walking, who is, at his best self, fully in the present—lessons from many spiritual traditions, but particularly Buddhist and Native Americans. It seems to me if we create our path while walking through our days at best we are naming/seeing our experiences and feeling our way to integrating and sharing. Memoir can take many forms. Some of the earliest were religious, i.e. St. Augustine, Catherine of Sienna, etc. Certainly poetry. A book I particularly love is Joe Brainard’s I REMEMBER.’ Muriel Rukeyser’s THE LIFE OF POETRY. I also highly recommend to my clients and co-travelers to be ready to tell the truth as best you can, and if you can’t maybe you’re not ready to write this particular memoir yet. Mary Karr, whose amazing book THE ART OF MEMOIR, says it like it is in a blunt and honest recollection from her own life and from her teaching and other people’s memoirs. Her book taught me you have to be ready. I just want to reiterate that you have to tell your readers the truth and you have to have found a truth beyond or with the pain that buoys the reader. Whatever the form—poems, chronological narrative, your own story in non-chronological order, reporting with narrator/observer/reporter being also character. It’s a big tent.
Brooke, thanks as always for sharing your thoughts. I’m beginning a six week class teaching memoir in person in White Bear Lake MN at the Center for the Arts. I will be sure to share your writing and your intensive with the writers there.
Great points here, Jan. Yes, you have to be ready. So agree with that as I've grappled with my own pauses. Thanks for your thoughts and insights here, and always good to hear from you.
This was such a fantastic post and reminder! I feel so much better about the ongoing spiritual journey that is writing my memoir. Even at the revision stage, there is so much more to dig up!
Love this, Brooke. So much to think about. Especially the Zen and Lakota stories. They are worth thinking about every day, and certainly every time you write. This is also so applicable to the "writing with vulnerability" class I once taught and hope to teach again.
I’ve been reflecting on this Brooke~ as you might imagine- haha - and also not surprisingly I love the wisdom Mark Nepo brings to this. My hope is that by sharing in memoir what it’s like to move through we inspire and feel connected by the realization that we all encounter suffering, it’s how we rise above💫
I've experienced this question coming from incarcerated women writers: My story is so horrible, who would want to read it? My answer was it is all about the craft. Think of those stories that are so hard to read but beautifully written such as Beloved by Toni Morrison (admittedly a novel). I appreciate your clarifying words about significance and takeaway, can't wait to share them. I also tell them we sometimes are the ones telling a story that someone else does not yet have the courage to tell.
I have a memoir coming out in Oct about what my husband and I experienced after his terrible small plane accident. But what my message is and is the meaning that Mark Nepo defines, is what my healing journey was to thriving and finding love again in my life.
And the power of hope and love. I think some people want to know how we can thrive again after loss, suffering and tragedy. How we make through the dark night of the soul and come out the other side, more appreciative of life.
Thank you! It’s very exciting. My editor is wonderfully supportive. Regalo Press, my publisher will donate a % of book sales to charity of my choice. I’m thrilled.
Was just discussing both the challenge and transformative power of writing earlier today with regard to moving from the abstract/intellectual idea toward embodied writing. The head to the heart, so to speak. Are all writers of memoir & personal essay floating out over their heads, trying to enter the body from some angle? I know I am.
You inspired me to capture this snippet of a conversation with my mom yesterday. She's in a nursing facility with so many health obstacles, including strokes & dementia.:
--
Down to the bare essence, she says, "I'm an old woman. I don't remember a lot."
Paralleled with my own amnesias at 16, old age is the perfect place to forget and start each day with a clean slate.
I think this is a smart and articulate piece about the limitations of memoir. I write narrative nonfiction as well as fiction, and I taught narrative nonfiction for many years, and my own work is not memoir, other than indirectly. My collection “The Redneck Way of Knowledge” was published in 1982, reissued in 1997 with an Introduction by Dorothy Allison, and is being reissued again in 1996, probably with another Introduction by someone else. My work has stayed relevant because I am not the subject, I am the lens.
The self as the lens, using what is autobiographical as a way to look at subjects that are not the lens, is imho much more powerful than attempting nonfiction that posits ‘objectivity’, a notion that seems false everywhere but in science and math. Using one’s own experience as a lens makes looking at ‘the other’ or what is not the self more accurate (and possibly quite moving and even funny), not less.
But simply writing about the self, about one’s own life and experience, may be helpful for the writer. However, it has to reach beyond itself to matter. Read Sloane Crosley’s “Grief Is for People” for a wonderful example of autobiographical work that reaches beyond her own experience. She is the lens, not the subject. There are many examples of this, and I may write a piece about it in my own substack, Blanche.substack.com, which is free and always will be.
Thank you for sharing this, Blanche. Agreed about Grief Is for People. There's so much great work to read out there to show the way!
I have a friend, a playwright, who created a character Creates a Path While Walking, who is, at his best self, fully in the present—lessons from many spiritual traditions, but particularly Buddhist and Native Americans. It seems to me if we create our path while walking through our days at best we are naming/seeing our experiences and feeling our way to integrating and sharing. Memoir can take many forms. Some of the earliest were religious, i.e. St. Augustine, Catherine of Sienna, etc. Certainly poetry. A book I particularly love is Joe Brainard’s I REMEMBER.’ Muriel Rukeyser’s THE LIFE OF POETRY. I also highly recommend to my clients and co-travelers to be ready to tell the truth as best you can, and if you can’t maybe you’re not ready to write this particular memoir yet. Mary Karr, whose amazing book THE ART OF MEMOIR, says it like it is in a blunt and honest recollection from her own life and from her teaching and other people’s memoirs. Her book taught me you have to be ready. I just want to reiterate that you have to tell your readers the truth and you have to have found a truth beyond or with the pain that buoys the reader. Whatever the form—poems, chronological narrative, your own story in non-chronological order, reporting with narrator/observer/reporter being also character. It’s a big tent.
Brooke, thanks as always for sharing your thoughts. I’m beginning a six week class teaching memoir in person in White Bear Lake MN at the Center for the Arts. I will be sure to share your writing and your intensive with the writers there.
Great points here, Jan. Yes, you have to be ready. So agree with that as I've grappled with my own pauses. Thanks for your thoughts and insights here, and always good to hear from you.
Great information
This was such a fantastic post and reminder! I feel so much better about the ongoing spiritual journey that is writing my memoir. Even at the revision stage, there is so much more to dig up!
From head to heart: there's the roadmap for the journey of the interior landscape. Great post.
Love this, Brooke. So much to think about. Especially the Zen and Lakota stories. They are worth thinking about every day, and certainly every time you write. This is also so applicable to the "writing with vulnerability" class I once taught and hope to teach again.
I want every memoirist I know to inhale this!!!
I’ve been reflecting on this Brooke~ as you might imagine- haha - and also not surprisingly I love the wisdom Mark Nepo brings to this. My hope is that by sharing in memoir what it’s like to move through we inspire and feel connected by the realization that we all encounter suffering, it’s how we rise above💫
Beautiful and thank you. ♥️
I've experienced this question coming from incarcerated women writers: My story is so horrible, who would want to read it? My answer was it is all about the craft. Think of those stories that are so hard to read but beautifully written such as Beloved by Toni Morrison (admittedly a novel). I appreciate your clarifying words about significance and takeaway, can't wait to share them. I also tell them we sometimes are the ones telling a story that someone else does not yet have the courage to tell.
Thank you, Wendy!
I have a memoir coming out in Oct about what my husband and I experienced after his terrible small plane accident. But what my message is and is the meaning that Mark Nepo defines, is what my healing journey was to thriving and finding love again in my life.
And the power of hope and love. I think some people want to know how we can thrive again after loss, suffering and tragedy. How we make through the dark night of the soul and come out the other side, more appreciative of life.
Congratulations on the new memoir coming out, Jenny.
Thank you! It’s very exciting. My editor is wonderfully supportive. Regalo Press, my publisher will donate a % of book sales to charity of my choice. I’m thrilled.
"If meaning is the heart, significance is the doorway." Thank you!
Was just discussing both the challenge and transformative power of writing earlier today with regard to moving from the abstract/intellectual idea toward embodied writing. The head to the heart, so to speak. Are all writers of memoir & personal essay floating out over their heads, trying to enter the body from some angle? I know I am.
A fantastic post. ‘Why so long? Has to go g to through you.’
So good. All of the considerations to uncover meaning
Thx Brooke
Beautiful. Thanks!
You inspired me to capture this snippet of a conversation with my mom yesterday. She's in a nursing facility with so many health obstacles, including strokes & dementia.:
--
Down to the bare essence, she says, "I'm an old woman. I don't remember a lot."
Paralleled with my own amnesias at 16, old age is the perfect place to forget and start each day with a clean slate.
"Maybe that's the place to be."
Touching, Donna. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you!
beautiful
Thank you!
The Quiet One
The doorbell rang it was obnoxiously early 9:00 but I hand not laid my head on my pillow until 3am so it was time to join the world.
He had a tool belt and easily explained he had to change the air conditioner filter.
I did not think much of it; I was so hung over from the night before.
As I turned to walk to the kitchen for the coffee that would relieve my headache.
I heard the lock click.
When I turned around, he was smiling.
“Hey prick tease do you remember me?”
My blood ran cold as I saw the knife in his hand.
“You were too pretty to dance with me last night”
I started to panic but remembered something I heard, if you humanize yourself they would not hurt you.
“Oh were you at Pacers last night, I was so drunk I’m sorry if I blew you off”
“Oh yeah bitch you would dance with all the pretty boys but not me well now you are going to dance with me”
He grabbed me by the wrist and turned me around heading to the bedroom.
Oh my God, I looked for an escape, a weapon anything that would change the trajectory of this story.
He threw me down on the bed.
I had a decision to make my life or my dignity.
As he mounted me, I saw the open sores on his back and felt the tears slide down my cheeks.
The whole time he told me what a whore I was and now maybe I would learn my lesson.
He left as quickly as he had come.
I was in shock, I took a shower and called in sick spending the day crying and nursing my wounds.
When my roommate came home I was calm but quiet deciding not to go clubbing with her or again.
A few weeks later, I saw his face on the news. I was not the only one. He would follow girls home come back the next day and take their souls.
They caught him I felt my body relax for the first time since I had seen that tool belt.
I was not the brave one that helped in his capture; I was the quiet one that carried the scars.
Thank you for sharing this here, Devo. Thanks for bringing your voice and your story into the space in this way.