Publishing Anxiety: A Guide for Writers on Naming the Triggers

5 Ways to Tame Need, Desire, and Envy

For most writers I know, anxiety is a condition. As someone who suffers from anxiety myself, I know how hijacking it can be. It’s also not easy to identify what the triggers are, since so much of modern life is anxiety-producing. Writers, however, invite anxiety into our lives. We open our doors wide and say, Come in! The words we put into the world are exposing. We lay out our vulnerabilities for all to see, and sometimes to pick apart. As a publisher and writing coach, I see—and sometimes experience the blowback around—the emotional battles authors engage in.

I don’t have a remedy, but I will offer that awareness is key, and we have more control over the forces within us than we oftentimes realize. And while many soon-to-be-published writers or aspiring authors may hope their anxiety lessens, or should get better, once their books are out in the world, in my experience . . . not so much. And maybe it gets worse.

Consider that the urge to write usually stems from Need and Desire, a duo, a team. Maybe one occupies more space inside you, and they’re actually powerful and helpful drivers. After all, they’re propellers; they work to get the job of writing a book done.

Consider whether the following statements resonate with you:

I need to self-express.
I need to put words on the page.
I need to live out loud.
I desire for others to read my work.
I desire to help others with my words.
I desire for my story or expertise to be available to others.
I desire to share what I’ve experienced, or what I know.

Need is a graspy little emotion, but still a great motivator. Desire is more heart-centered, so a slower burn, like an engine pushing you all the way to the finish line. Whatever you feel more strongly, both emotions are tied to longing, and writers—boy, do they long.

Here’s a short, non-exhaustive list of things writers might long for:

• to be seen
• to be successful
• to have their books be well-received
• to receive praise
• to make a difference
• to be acknowledged and validated
• to become best-sellers
• to be famous
• to have status, or become popular
• to quit their jobs to become full-time writers

Look at this list and consider what we ask our writing to do for us. It’s a lot, is it not? And of course our writing, our books, will fall short of fulfilling these longings. When that happens, sometimes Need and Desire invite their friend Envy to join their posse. It’s easy to look to others and see or imagine they’ve checked off all the items on the list, whether or not it’s true.

This little posse will occupy an outsized amount of head and heart space. It’s an antagonistic crew, too. They trigger anxiety because they’re never fulfilled. Even when people love your book, give you tremendous feedback on your writing, tell you how awesome you are, that will not banish the echoes of Need and Desire and Envy. You could be doing more, selling more, getting more recognition, being better.

Partnering Need and Desire with Envy is tricky because Need and Desire serve writers; Envy, less so. But the grip these emotions have on us and how they trigger anxiety puts them squarely in the same camp.

The 5 ideas that follow are things that work—when you’re looking for ways to push through, persevere, or even buck up:

1. The only way out is through. Feel Need. Feel Desire. Feel Envy. If there’s something else, feel it. Name it. Write about it. Have an all-out rage session about the divide between your expectations and reality. Get it out, then move on. Revisit as often as necessary.

2.  Print out all the positive reviews and messages people send you about your writing or your book and put them somewhere you can see them. If there are a lot, put them in a binder. Make an altar to your writing, to your book. Hold onto the real, tangible evidence that you have made a difference, even if it’s to a smaller group of people than you’d imagined or hoped for. Give yourself the gift of remembering that you’re touching people’s lives with your work.

3. If you feel self-defeating, prop someone else up just because it feels good. Give a shout-out, promote someone else. Put out good karma to diffuse the swirl.  

4. When you feel longing, start writing. I mentioned that writers long, and look, it’s a Superpower. Don’t negate it, or deny it. Funnel it. Put it into your next project, your next post. If you want more, write more. Use that energy to create something.  

5. Turn off social media for a few days. There’s nothing like social media to feed comparison, or to remind you of everything you could be doing. Let it rest. Come back later.