One of the many things that worry me about this election is that if it turns out more of our rights are stripped away— women's rights, rights of LGBTQ+ and people of color, for example— all the effort it will take to claw those back will mean that other areas needing progress will suffer. In my world, that's adoptee rights...in other people's worlds it's disabled people's rights or animal rights, etc. So many causes will suffer if this happens. I've been thinking of all the memoirists I know and our collective wish to effect social change. I worry for all of us, for everyone, for the planet...the list goes on.
This is such a powerful and moving piece. Thank you for writing it, Brooke. When I was a graduate school student I went to the Duwamish Longhouse in Seattle, where I live, and learned about the displacement faced by the people of that tribe and others in the region. I was twenty-two at the time and, in shock, I asked my father, a civil engineer who has worked in water and utilities for most of his career, whether he had known about it. My father brushed it off as somewhat of a silly comment, and when I asked him how he could reconcile being complicit in the displacement of marginalized populations, he said something to the effect of, well that's just how it is, intimating that "some people" have to suffer in order for others to get ahead. I was struck by his comment. A few years before, he had betrayed me deeply with a sexual boundary violation I will not describe here. I am his adopted daughter, I am half Iraqi-half Bulgarian, and I was raised in a white family in an affluent, white community. I am some people. And even though I have worked hard at forgiveness, and maintaining a relationship for my own personal reasons, your essay is absolutely the reason I am now writing my memoir, and risking that relationship. I wish our world were better equipped to protect girls and women, in particular. When it comes to being a change agent, I've drawn my own line in the sand, and that is a fight I will show up for every single time.
Thanks for sharing this powerful personal story, Mirella. This idea that this is "just how it is" is certainly a way people justify the horrors done to others. I have been complicit in that myself over the years just because there's too much suffering to bear. I wish our world were better, period. ❤️
Thank you for connecting these dots so eloquently: That our stories are a force for change. And nothing could highlight the need for change more profoundly than the coming Election Day. May we keep fighting, keep telling our vivid tales, no matter what.
When I worked in public policy and public opinion, I observed focus groups on topics ranging from the economy to immigration to social justice. The vast majority included people with opposing political views and very different lives--not much in common on the surface. Yet, I was often surprised and moved by the power of someone's personal story to open people's minds. Humans do have the capacity to learn from each other.
This is beautiful and eloquent and I don't know how you find the time to write such compelling prose. I applaud you for having the courage to add a political lens to our work. I am old enough to remember when we hit the streets for reproductive rights in the early 90s. I'm so sad that we are in a place where someone who has abused women is heralded as a great leader rather than a predator. It makes me yearn for the days of John McCain who stood up to a supporter of his who attacked his opponent, Barack Obama, saying something like 'No Ma'am, he's a good family man, we just disagree on policy." Thank you, Brooke, for framing what we are all do against a backdrop of deeper themes.
Thanks for this, Kate. I'm sad, too. I was explaining to my 13-year-old son that people will be despondent if Trump wins and was describing that as listless, defeated, feeling like they will be so eroded. But then I thought to myself—we can't let that happen. History ebbs and flows. We're in a hard moment, but we must prevail. And yes, I long for the dignity we've lost too.
I like that idea that being invited into people’s stories changes you. I read and write not just to understand —the old axiom—but to be changed. I know in my depths that who I am is not enlightened as I could be. I need to change, constantly. Evolution should not be a historical reflection, but a moment by moment one. Sometimes that needed change seems at the margins, out of my reach. When I look toward it, it disappears. I have to keep reaching for it, again and again, burning away the chaff to see it. So that at the end, I am ashes, not dust. And that for me seems the best choice, rather than a mute acceptance of the way things have always been.
I think this may be the explanation for our divide right now in America. The country has divided itself into two camps: those who embrace change, and those who wish for everything to stay the same, or for evolution to walk backwards to a re-imagined time when everything made sense – a complete lack of ambiguity. Those who risk it all for an enlightened existence, and those who will avoid that at all costs. I have no idea how to create harmony, or even co-existence, in such a world.
Love this. Working from the trenches to lift my book up and touch hearts and change minds before the election. And it's hard. But it is all about the encounter. And so she persists!
I found myself pumping my fist in the air. I believe this may be the most important election in American history since her inception. I’m afraid for our future and for the rights of women in many ways. If Roe V Wade can be undone, what else? Withdraw womens right to vote?
I’m astounded at the way our political leaders speak of their colleagues across the aisle. The shameful lies that are accepted as the norm in speeches or debates, the lack of social skills and simple manners that our forefathers exemplified.
I remember not so long ago it was normal to see a framed picture of the president hanging in most homes. Their speeches were quoted many years after their death. It seems that the days of respectable leaders serving their country for the masses, has ended. I’m a little tired of hearing candidates tell me what they believe in, or what they support. They’ve forgotten that it’s not about them. Their job is to ensure that the majority rule. When the majority of the country (both major parties) support womens right to abortion, it should be enough. I’m really worried.
I had not considered my little memoir making a difference in any big way, but I get it and humbly hope somewhere in those pages a fire is ignited in someone who will not turn back.
This is so powerful and so right on Brooke. When I begin writing my memoir in 2017, I honestly had no idea how important my story would be after it was published in May of 2022 and then Roe vs Wade was overturned in June of 2022. My story of women with no voice, no choice, in the 1960s showed a world before Roe vs Wade and a world where women were fighting for their rights. It describes a world we do not want to go back to. Never did I dream of the questions and interest that my book would produce. Although I had been an avid reader since childhood, until I began writing in my late 60s, I had no idea how powerful and world changing all of our words are. Thank you for your wisdom and your strength! May all of us strong writing women continue to spread our truth.
I love this. Yes, you bear witness, and this topic is so important now. These things we take for granted that are being taken away from us. Thanks for sharing this. You're right in the zone of this piece.
Soooo grateful to be spending the beginning of this election night in the final session of what has been a truly enlightening class. The women you’ve shared have given me so much to think about in the writing of my own memoir.
But I’m here to say that yes, no matter what happens, we must continue to carve out space for the narratives of voices traditionally silenced. I’m grateful to be a part of community I know will do so.
I'm always thrilled when Sunday rolls around as it means I get to peek into your head for a bit. You always help me articulate my muddy thoughts. Thank you for being such a champion.
My white male privilege has given me cause for reflection many times over the years. It seems particularly poignant now when my Republican friends feel empowered to say things they shouldn't. I'm part of a men's group that meets monthly. Politics rarely comes up. But one of the members couldn't resist yesterday. The leader sent out a text reminder for our meeting tonight and people were saying they'd be there. One guy said, "Me too. Oh wait, I'm not part of that movement. I'll be there also."
I wanted to call him out but a group text about logistics probably isn't the place. The thing is, he's a good person who's helped my family out a lot when we needed it about a year ago. He likes to say controversial things, I guess to get a rise out of people, but I won't fall for that. Time to work on my memoir...
I appreciate this, Karl. I think even this conversation about privilege is fodder for backlash. The words privilege, misogyny, patriarchy—all things we need to deeply examine—are being thrown back at us like we're the problem for acknowledging they exist. I don't know how to be in better conversation about these things that really require a reckoning, but honesty helps. And yeah—it's hard. Thanks for your comment.
One of the many things that worry me about this election is that if it turns out more of our rights are stripped away— women's rights, rights of LGBTQ+ and people of color, for example— all the effort it will take to claw those back will mean that other areas needing progress will suffer. In my world, that's adoptee rights...in other people's worlds it's disabled people's rights or animal rights, etc. So many causes will suffer if this happens. I've been thinking of all the memoirists I know and our collective wish to effect social change. I worry for all of us, for everyone, for the planet...the list goes on.
Agreed.
This is such a powerful and moving piece. Thank you for writing it, Brooke. When I was a graduate school student I went to the Duwamish Longhouse in Seattle, where I live, and learned about the displacement faced by the people of that tribe and others in the region. I was twenty-two at the time and, in shock, I asked my father, a civil engineer who has worked in water and utilities for most of his career, whether he had known about it. My father brushed it off as somewhat of a silly comment, and when I asked him how he could reconcile being complicit in the displacement of marginalized populations, he said something to the effect of, well that's just how it is, intimating that "some people" have to suffer in order for others to get ahead. I was struck by his comment. A few years before, he had betrayed me deeply with a sexual boundary violation I will not describe here. I am his adopted daughter, I am half Iraqi-half Bulgarian, and I was raised in a white family in an affluent, white community. I am some people. And even though I have worked hard at forgiveness, and maintaining a relationship for my own personal reasons, your essay is absolutely the reason I am now writing my memoir, and risking that relationship. I wish our world were better equipped to protect girls and women, in particular. When it comes to being a change agent, I've drawn my own line in the sand, and that is a fight I will show up for every single time.
Thanks for sharing this powerful personal story, Mirella. This idea that this is "just how it is" is certainly a way people justify the horrors done to others. I have been complicit in that myself over the years just because there's too much suffering to bear. I wish our world were better, period. ❤️
I love the idea that we are looking not only at this election but also setting the stage for a more enlightened America for our children. Hope. Hope!
Thank you for connecting these dots so eloquently: That our stories are a force for change. And nothing could highlight the need for change more profoundly than the coming Election Day. May we keep fighting, keep telling our vivid tales, no matter what.
No matter what!!
When I worked in public policy and public opinion, I observed focus groups on topics ranging from the economy to immigration to social justice. The vast majority included people with opposing political views and very different lives--not much in common on the surface. Yet, I was often surprised and moved by the power of someone's personal story to open people's minds. Humans do have the capacity to learn from each other.
We do. Thanks for this, Martha. We need this kind of compassion more now than ever.
Dearest Brooke,
This is beautiful and eloquent and I don't know how you find the time to write such compelling prose. I applaud you for having the courage to add a political lens to our work. I am old enough to remember when we hit the streets for reproductive rights in the early 90s. I'm so sad that we are in a place where someone who has abused women is heralded as a great leader rather than a predator. It makes me yearn for the days of John McCain who stood up to a supporter of his who attacked his opponent, Barack Obama, saying something like 'No Ma'am, he's a good family man, we just disagree on policy." Thank you, Brooke, for framing what we are all do against a backdrop of deeper themes.
Kate
Thanks for this, Kate. I'm sad, too. I was explaining to my 13-year-old son that people will be despondent if Trump wins and was describing that as listless, defeated, feeling like they will be so eroded. But then I thought to myself—we can't let that happen. History ebbs and flows. We're in a hard moment, but we must prevail. And yes, I long for the dignity we've lost too.
I like that idea that being invited into people’s stories changes you. I read and write not just to understand —the old axiom—but to be changed. I know in my depths that who I am is not enlightened as I could be. I need to change, constantly. Evolution should not be a historical reflection, but a moment by moment one. Sometimes that needed change seems at the margins, out of my reach. When I look toward it, it disappears. I have to keep reaching for it, again and again, burning away the chaff to see it. So that at the end, I am ashes, not dust. And that for me seems the best choice, rather than a mute acceptance of the way things have always been.
I think this may be the explanation for our divide right now in America. The country has divided itself into two camps: those who embrace change, and those who wish for everything to stay the same, or for evolution to walk backwards to a re-imagined time when everything made sense – a complete lack of ambiguity. Those who risk it all for an enlightened existence, and those who will avoid that at all costs. I have no idea how to create harmony, or even co-existence, in such a world.
I have no idea either, and especially in a world where you have one party openly acting to take agency and power and rights away from people.
Love this. Working from the trenches to lift my book up and touch hearts and change minds before the election. And it's hard. But it is all about the encounter. And so she persists!
You are working in the trenches, Sarah. With great admiration for all you're doing!
Thanks for giving us this pre-election reed to hold onto. It's important. She is going to win, though. Lift up your hearts, countrywomen!
❤️ ❤️ From your lips to God's ears. Let's do this!!
YES she is and YES we are
I found myself pumping my fist in the air. I believe this may be the most important election in American history since her inception. I’m afraid for our future and for the rights of women in many ways. If Roe V Wade can be undone, what else? Withdraw womens right to vote?
I’m astounded at the way our political leaders speak of their colleagues across the aisle. The shameful lies that are accepted as the norm in speeches or debates, the lack of social skills and simple manners that our forefathers exemplified.
I remember not so long ago it was normal to see a framed picture of the president hanging in most homes. Their speeches were quoted many years after their death. It seems that the days of respectable leaders serving their country for the masses, has ended. I’m a little tired of hearing candidates tell me what they believe in, or what they support. They’ve forgotten that it’s not about them. Their job is to ensure that the majority rule. When the majority of the country (both major parties) support womens right to abortion, it should be enough. I’m really worried.
I had not considered my little memoir making a difference in any big way, but I get it and humbly hope somewhere in those pages a fire is ignited in someone who will not turn back.
Thank you, Brooke!
This is so powerful and so right on Brooke. When I begin writing my memoir in 2017, I honestly had no idea how important my story would be after it was published in May of 2022 and then Roe vs Wade was overturned in June of 2022. My story of women with no voice, no choice, in the 1960s showed a world before Roe vs Wade and a world where women were fighting for their rights. It describes a world we do not want to go back to. Never did I dream of the questions and interest that my book would produce. Although I had been an avid reader since childhood, until I began writing in my late 60s, I had no idea how powerful and world changing all of our words are. Thank you for your wisdom and your strength! May all of us strong writing women continue to spread our truth.
I love this. Yes, you bear witness, and this topic is so important now. These things we take for granted that are being taken away from us. Thanks for sharing this. You're right in the zone of this piece.
Soooo grateful to be spending the beginning of this election night in the final session of what has been a truly enlightening class. The women you’ve shared have given me so much to think about in the writing of my own memoir.
But I’m here to say that yes, no matter what happens, we must continue to carve out space for the narratives of voices traditionally silenced. I’m grateful to be a part of community I know will do so.
We love to hear this, Holly. Thank you! And see you tomorrow. :)
I love that you speak up. This is such a deep and important conversation. Thank you 🤗
Thanks for reading, and saying so!
Love love love love ❤️
Write On!
Indeed.
Not going back.. as a woman, a writer, and a passionate messy complicated badass human.
I'm always thrilled when Sunday rolls around as it means I get to peek into your head for a bit. You always help me articulate my muddy thoughts. Thank you for being such a champion.
My white male privilege has given me cause for reflection many times over the years. It seems particularly poignant now when my Republican friends feel empowered to say things they shouldn't. I'm part of a men's group that meets monthly. Politics rarely comes up. But one of the members couldn't resist yesterday. The leader sent out a text reminder for our meeting tonight and people were saying they'd be there. One guy said, "Me too. Oh wait, I'm not part of that movement. I'll be there also."
I wanted to call him out but a group text about logistics probably isn't the place. The thing is, he's a good person who's helped my family out a lot when we needed it about a year ago. He likes to say controversial things, I guess to get a rise out of people, but I won't fall for that. Time to work on my memoir...
I appreciate this, Karl. I think even this conversation about privilege is fodder for backlash. The words privilege, misogyny, patriarchy—all things we need to deeply examine—are being thrown back at us like we're the problem for acknowledging they exist. I don't know how to be in better conversation about these things that really require a reckoning, but honesty helps. And yeah—it's hard. Thanks for your comment.