The Anticlimax of Becoming an Author

Why publishing a book will turn you into an emotional wreck—for a time

I often see new authors sharing online about the anticlimax of being newly published. So much anticipation goes into what it will be like on the other side of publication. For debut authors, it’s an achievement of a lifetime, a dream come true. It’s right to be optimistic, hopeful, even audacious when you decide to publish your work. Who among us hasn’t dared to believe that our book will be one that breaks out, that finds a large audience, that brings us accolades—even fame? Even for those humble would-authors who have modest expectations, or for those more cynical would-authors who know what they’re up against, the dream of what could be still looms large in the journey leading up to publication.

Then, it’s Publication Day, which is like a wedding day, or a graduation day, or a milestone birthday. You are fêted and honored and celebrated. If you’ve done it up right and have or have hired a publicist, Pub Day has been preceded by events and media that continue in the weeks and months of your arrival on the doorstep of authorhood. It’s fast-paced, fun, and overwhelming, and there’s no one among us who can help the letdown of the attention winding down, or eventually being over, or even of all of it not being enough.

The feelings that accompany getting published are complicated. I think the authors in my She Writes Press/SparkPress community are lucky because they have each other to share with, to commiserate with. It’s a relief to share what you’re going through and have your experience be validated. It’s uncomfortable to admit that you’re feeling let down after the attention winds down. If you’re a memoirist, you undoutedly also feel exposed. You’ve put some of your most intimate truths and experiences into the world for all to see. Anyone you interact with might have read your book—but you don’t and you won’t ever really know unless they tell you. I’ve seen authors get their feelings deeply hurt in the aftermath of publishing a book because people they love don’t read their books; because they don’t reach the audiences they’d hoped to reach; because the party seems to end too quickly.

I see this with my authors, of course, but I’ve experienced it myself, too. My last book, Write On, Sisters! was my most personal. When my high expectations met reality, I experienced the disappointment—of not getting the level of media and reviews and accolades I’d hoped for. The imagined compliments I had for my own achievement could have filled their own book. I also never would have said any of this out loud at the time. I just put my head down and dealt with the fact that I was receiving less of everything (media, attention, reviews, sales, compliments) than I would have liked.

This “less than I would have liked” is the rub because short of becoming a best-selling author, getting published is a letdown. It takes perspective and time to digest the wonder of it all. It wasn’t until after my publicity campaign was over that I could really take in the kind words people did have for my book. Write On, Sisters! resonated with readers, just not droves of readers. It was well reviewed and sold decently well, but it wasn’t a bestseller. Not even close. Just last week, however, I got a royalty check for Write On, Sisters! for $500. It’s been six years and it’s still selling well enough that it brings in around $1000/year.

There are many reasons beyond fame and accolades, sales and money, that writers publish their work, of course, but hope and desire and ambition are in the mix. Also, these feelings should be present. They’re part of the fuel that get us to the finish line.

And . . . the hangover is real.

Recently, one of my authors posted her post-pub feelings in our private Facebook group, sharing that her dipping mood seemed to be correlating to the drop-off in publicity and media opportunities. Other authors responded with kindness and been-there wisdom. One likened it to post-partum. Everyone said: This is normal.

Here are a few tips from the trenches:

1. Slow your roll.
The journey to becoming an author is slow, slow, slow. It usually takes years to write a book, years to figure out your publishing journey, and then another year to get published. Then, all of a sudden, it’s fast and furious time. Feedback, reviews, opportunities. The highs are high and the lows are low. You may get a negative review that send you into despair. You may feel overexposed, vulnerable, tired. It’s important to notice the addiction we can all tap into—of anticipation, of the fast pace, of waiting and wanting. Take a full day offline. Go out with a friend. Do something not-book-related for a whole weekend. Sometimes we have to snap out of our own trance to regain equilibrium.   

2. Dream into your next project.
This can be hard to do when you’re actively promoting a book, but knowing you have something new will keep you tethered to your creativity during the roller coaster that is marketing and publicizing a new book. If you’ve thrown yourself into this world of authorship, a next book is always a future step. You don’t have to be super prolific, though some writers are. But going back to the writing is grounding in moments when you feel unmoored, or like the outside world is driving your relationship to your creativity more than you are.

3. Give it time.
When you’re in the immediate aftermath of your book being published, it’s impossible not to be in a swirl. It’s not always going to be this way. The best part of being a published author, in my opinion, is long after the intensity passes and you still get readers emailing you that they loved your book, or an invitation to sit on a panel or be on a podcast, or a bulk order of books. Post-publication is a blip on the longer journey. Enjoy it if you can, and if you’re feeling conflicted about your feelings, know that things gets better with time.

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Dear authors, please share how you’ve dealt with your own post-publication blues. I’d love to hear your insights, and so would future authors who come across this post!